Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
