summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
