if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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