My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
