im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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