You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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