I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
