I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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