I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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