I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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