My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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