Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
