Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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