so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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