I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
