oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
