Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
