first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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