Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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