No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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