Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
