I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
