Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Randomize
