Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize