rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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