Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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