your thong is hanging out like whoa
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
that is very illegal...i love you.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
