the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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