why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
