I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
