It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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