We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
