He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
