I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
