I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
