I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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