I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
