you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Randomize
