and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
