The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
