i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
