Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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