Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dicks are not precious.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
