I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Holy shit dude........stairs
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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