Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
