I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
