my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
My pussy is not your playground.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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