took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
