Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Let's get the cat blown out
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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