you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Randomize
