theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
