i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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