the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It was like giving head to a cactus.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
