Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She bit a glass in half.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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