"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
