"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
