How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
