it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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