you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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