so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
