yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You need Xanax blowdarts
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
