drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize