I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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